I totally agree to this because i could remember i used to see things as i have far thought about. I tought that this was nature gift but finally come to realise that it was the power of my mind this was far before i come across this on the net. No one told me about it. I am fully going to use this law to change my life. I belief in this because frim thought i see in dreams then frim dreams i encounter in the reality. love you all.

Emotional Charge: Emotionalize that goal (why do you want it, how will it change your life, in what ways will it bring you happiness, etc.). The idea is to increase and amplify the desire for it from a place of the heart. This powerfully imprints the vibration of your goal into your subconscious mind as you take inspired action towards what you want to achieve.


“I found myself in London at a quarter to one and rather than go with the mind chatter of how tired I was, and how I shouldn’t have had to work until so late etc.- I just went with the experience. Rather than being intimidated or plain angry- I non-resisted. I leaned into it. And it was magical. I walked around and enjoyed the late night hustle and bustle of the city which I rarely saw, I found a great place to get food and met some great people. It was one of the best nights I’d had for weeks! The teaching for me on this night, I actually got from your group- to be ok with wherever I am and whatever’s going on; to assume that where I am is the perfect place for me to be and, as my experience showed, then the world transforms around you.”

Consciously shifting your thoughts is definitely the easier path, but when we first start working with LOA, this can be hard to do because our current belief system of having to take action, hustle and MAKE things happen, is still quite strong and we just can’t buy into this fully even if it resonates with us, and we know there is some truth to this method of bringing what we want into our life. Visualizing is a good tool for uncovering resistance, which is essentially all the reasons we tell ourselves we can’t have what we want, and getting into a good feeling space. One of the most important things is not to worry about getting super-specific. Don’t worry about figuring our what this person looks like, exactly what he is like, just try to get into the feelings. Trying to get too specific with the type of person can trigger a lot of resistance, and may even actually clog up the channels of receiving because you may get too attached to this person having to be a very specific way.
Another thing about feelings—get yourself out of situations that don’t feel like what you want. You don’t have to compromise or settle. You don’t have to experience a bunch of stuff that feels badly to also experience that which feels good. As you shore up your good energy, and stick to your standards and boundaries, these types of situations will naturally decrease, and at some point, move out of your experience completely.
Many of us have had the experience where we keep on attracting the same kind of a person into our lives, and not in a good way! It happens because of the powerful law of attraction, but you don't have to keep on repeating the same mistake. What you need to do is to find a way to bless the past relationships, and to get yourself into a better feeling place regarding past loves, otherwise, you will keep on attracting the same type of a person. This is another topic that is discussed in this e-book.
Create a vision for your ideal life. Be clear about the life you want with all the happiness, success and abundance you deserve. And every day take some time to visualize your Abundant Life. In your visualization see yourself living the life of your dreams. Feel that you are a money magnet and attract money from multiple sources. Dive into the feelings of abundance every day for few minutes and let the law of attraction works for you.
Let’s say you want to make an extra $50,000.00, $100,000.00, or even $1 million dollars more. Or let’s say that you want to release the weight that you don’t want on your body. Or let’s say that you want to find a soul mate that you’re not with right now. It’s not enough just to have the idea, desire or the goal. It’s not enough just to write it down. It’s not enough to have a vision board or to talk about it. What you have to understand is you have to get the conscious mind and the subconscious mind to line up in harmony with each other to create synchronicity and you have to impress it over and over again into the emotional subconscious mind so coherence is created between the two part of your brain.
As great as this was, my real triumph was this: My severe body image problems (which was borderline dysmorphia) have also been fully resolved- which means I no longer have the overwhelming feelings of self-criticism- and actually feel happy with the way I look- a first for my whole adult life to date. What you have given me on this subject alone- not even mentioning the acting- is priceless and something other therapists couldn’t do anything with. You guys are amazing.”
The law of attraction has proven itself to me on many occasions. I really do believe, it is hard to say in words exactly as it’s more of a feeling. I will try to explain. I want something to happen, I put the desire out there then in my minds eye actually visualise it happening – totally. Even put images on a vision board, dream pictures in my mind and get excited knowing it’s coming and is on its way to me. This is when the magic happens. I get this urge for action, a complete gut feeling to do something and an inner drive over takes me. Then when I have completed the task in hand, only afterwards, have I realise the law of attraction delivers. I hope this makes sense, I have received things like getting the job I wanted in the past, building the house I used to draw out in my mind, starting a successful business, receiving unexpected money etc.
Many people have limiting beliefs which keep them from allowing abundance and happiness into their lives. If this describes you, realize that you must first change your limiting beliefs into thoughts that you are deserving, worthy, lovable, desirable, and capable—as well as smart enough, strong enough, attractive enough, rich enough, good enough, and “enough” in every other way that matters to you.
I had also been teaching my friend the Law of Attraction as her landlord had given her notice on her apartment as he was selling. I told her to focus on what she wanted and not what she didn’t want. She only has a low paid part time job at the moment and also has a small dog and stays in a very nice area so her fear was to move out of the area and possibly end up in a less desirable area and most landlords don’t allow pets. I told her to write a list of everything she wanted, create a vision board and visualize and feel how she would feel in a new home. I told her to even put flyers round her neighbour’s doors to ask if they knew of an apartment for rent in the area. She was leaving her house for work one day and had mentioned to a neighbour did they know of anything in the area and they advised that the apartment across the street was available. She made a flyer went round and the landlord was there painting. They really liked her so much they didn’t mind that she was on a low income or that she had a small dog. They even asked her what she wanted to pay on the apartment. She was so amazed that the Law of Attraction worked within a couple of weeks of me teaching her. She even ended up with an extra room so she can start her own business.”
I do not believe so at all as I see many parallels between traditional religious views and the Law of Attraction. My personal view is that God creates through us…and it is our connection to God (or the universe/spirit guides/angels/etc) that allows creation to flow easily and pleasantly. In my opinion, our connection is evidence through our feelings, and the better we feel, the more connected we are.
This to-the-point law of attraction e-book will help you apply the secrets of the law of attraction so that you will finally be able to feel that you can powerfully attract the right relationship for you. It will also help you to stop doing certain things that almost everyone does, which is why most people cannot get the law of attraction to work for them.
Skeptical Inquirer magazine criticized the lack of falsifiability and testability of these claims.[47] Critics have asserted that the evidence provided is usually anecdotal and that, because of the self-selecting nature of the positive reports, as well as the subjective nature of any results, these reports are susceptible to confirmation bias and selection bias.[48] Physicist Ali Alousi, for instance, criticized it as unmeasurable and questioned the likelihood that thoughts can affect anything outside the head.[1]
My parents call me and say I can have their PT Cruiser, but I have to fly to Arizona from Pennsylvania and drive it back. I would have to close my business, and it’s just too much expense for a car that’s worth only around $1200. I tell them I want to think about it. Several days later they say they’re shipping the car to me. So I got a car for free.
Holy Smokes! I freaking love this article you’ve shared Gabriel (and everything else on your site might I add!). That last sentence you shared about blessing my beloved and I and knowing that we are already deeply connected on a soul level… Feel it. I believe that stumbling onto this blog of yours is an indication of my commitment to grow and call my beloved man in. Something inside me felt called to have a google around tonight and I got you. Amongst other books and resources I have been working through to grow in the last year and a half, I am deeply resonating with everything I’ve seen on your site and I’ve had a good little look around! I would love to connect. Possibly for some one-on-one coaching and would even love to potentially have you on my podcast and interview you there so you can share all of your wisdom on matters of the heart.

If manifesting your dream life only required having positive thoughts, then this conversation would be irrelevant. If it were as simple as staying positive, you would have figured it out long ago. This goes much deeper than the surface level conscious mind thinking you’re well-acquainted with. The Law of Attraction is activated based on what’s occurring in the depths of your unconscious mind.


when u think abt somthng deeply u release the energy of ur thoughts and some ideas related to ur thoughts will reach u in return…. all u have to just concentrate on what you want. if u want a jet plane on ur b’day which is 20 days ahead so its nt impossible bt will b called a miracle if u really got it…but as ur birthday comes near you try to apply law of attraction and keep thinking abt getting a plane as gift and finally you don’t get it. Now wht most people will do is criticising the LOA and living the day as usual thinking abt some other things bt nt concentrating on any.

Hi, my name is Bhuwan Pant and I am passionate about helping people find and achieve their goals & ambitions using Law of attraction laws. Often deep down we know what we want to do, where we want to be and with whom we want to experience life with, but just need a helping hand to ensure we are heading in the right direction. This Course will take you by hand on your journey to apply Law of Attraction in Your daily life and get desired results.


And also note that start with the little things first coz u will achieve them fast and once u get them u will understand the power of universe… Think abt a cup of coffee with ur friend, make evrything clr(whether u want him/her to invite u or u r gonna invute him/her) … n keep thinking abt it if this is exactly what makes u happy, stay happy n keep thinking abt ur dream. if u see him daily bt talk rarely then soon u will notice that he/she is being attracted to u magically and one day u will be surprised whn he/she invites u:) please also note how fast u manifest the things also depends upon what u want coz if u hv 50 dollors in ur pocket and u wish to hav a plane as a gift then u might hav to wait for years to get that(just an example). The universe will send u ideas, through the ppl he has got. He will nt only send things to u bt also attract you to ur wishes. U will actually see and feel things coming to u dramatically and one day u will achieve it for sure… n believe me it works so just try with some simple things first to believe it. and yes keep practicing gratitude daily… be grateful for the eyes u have…for the family u hav…for the life u hav… for the knowledge u hav.. for the frnds u hav… be grateful for everything u hav.

Don’t wait for science to catch up several hundred years from now. Use the power of love, attraction and transformation NOW. Just because you can’t see angels and wise mentors in front of you right now, doesn’t mean you can’t imagine them as true and reap the benefits. You have the same opportunity as anyone else to make this quantum imagination jump.
This freaks people out because they believe feeling happier now as a single person will cancel their 'order' with the Universe for a relationship. But don't worry... it doesn't work like that. Wanting and needing something to happen is not what brings it to you... trust me. Feeling the feelings that lie behind what you want now, and detaching from the idea this thing needs to happen for you to be happy, is what does -- much more quickly and easily.

I was seeing this really great guy for a couple of months. Things were fantastic between us, but he just got out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago and apparently it was a messy end- she basically picked her career over him and moved to a different state. We decided that the best thing to do right now is for us to just be friends because he said that if he is going to be with me he wants to be there 100% and not have her pop up in his mind all the time. I totally understand this, and really did sense it… is it possible that I manifested this? When I first found this out about his ex it was always in the back of my mind… like he’s just not over her. I kept thinking that. Is it possible that I made this happen myself with my negative thoughts about it? And if so, can I use the LOA to turn it around, help him get over her faster and come back to me? Thank you in advance for your help.


If you were to meet your soulmate today, and you chose to live together, would there be room in your life for them?  Okay, think you know what I’m getting at?  If you don’t start making actual time and space to be with your soulmate, you’re sending out a clear message to the Universe that you’re not ready to welcome him or her into your life. If what you truly want is to welcome your One into your life, and you are fully committed, then one of the best ways that you can accelerate this process is by consciously making room for them.
“I was awoken in the morning by a loud industrial noise that was virtually shaking my house. I had a client coming in a few hours and I usually work in silence which is vital for the atmosphere. When I went into my consultation room, the noise was intense. But knowing about the power of ‘changing the subject’, I went to a local cafe and began doing my processes. On the Universe List I put ‘make my consultation go wonderfully and the client be hugely benefited’ and ‘make the atmosphere peaceful and serene’. Then I forgot about it- and got in with focusing in on other important areas in my life. I got back within 15 minutes of the appointment- and the noise was still incredibly loud- but I somehow had a knowing that all be well. With one minute to go, the noise lessened to about half its volume. Then I got a message that my client was ‘on her way’ and a few minutes late. Two minutes later the work outside stopped completely and 10 seconds later my buzzer went. My client entered into the peaceful and serene atmosphere and yes, the consultation went wonderfully!”
When you investigate your thoughts and open up to new possibilities, you are in control of your feeling state. This gives you the power to instantly change your feeling state and align with the vibration of the feelings that you actually want to attract. When you’re feeling abundant, you’re going to have to get a bigger piggy bank to put all that money in that you attract.
“I printed off the photo you have on the Law of Attraction Centre website of the NV Buildings in Manchester and every day at breakfast I used to sit and look at it and imagine how it would feel to live in those apartments, within a month my partner moved into an apartment and when he drove me to his new home, I had told him the story of how I wanted to stay in these particular apartments and when we arrived to his new home to my shock it was the block right next to them.

Thank you, I am so glad you liked it. The first thing I would say about your situation is to carefully examine whether you are just trying to ignore negative feelings and think ‘happy thoughts’ or you are actually thinking and focusing in a way that makes you FEEL better. The feeling is where we attract, not in casting aside negative thoughts, only to have that energy remain and grow.


"I have been a single mother for seven years, and during that time I have had a few disastrous relationships. I have always wanted a very close and special relationship but couldn't find it. I had my heart broken a couple of times, but instead of giving up, I stated exactly what I wanted my man to be like. I said to my sister, "I just want to meet someone who is..." and I wrote down who my perfect partner and relationship was. I then let it go, with absolute faith that one day I would meet him. Two weeks later, I did. We have already planned to move in together and have a baby soon after my next manifestation. I am thankful every day that I discovered The Law Of Attraction, as it has truly changed my world."
What I didn’t realize was that I had already used the laws of attraction without realizing it. Months prior, I had tried a moon manifest, writing down my desires for a new place to live. While that manifestation took a little longer, my apartment is amazingly perfect for me. I think you are right, the universe provides in the order you need, and bigger manifestation take a little more time. Can’t wait to see where life can go from here!
One of the coolest things that has happened, is that I needed some money. So I decided to use the law of attraction consciously this time around. I was really excited about it, and the money kept coming in, so I thought the law of attraction was working. But then I got a bill, and I was really confused why that happened. So I thought about making a new list, and take a look at the old list that I had made a couple of months earlier.

THANK YOU REAL SUBLIMINAL!!!! You have given me the tools to make REAL changes in my thinking and my life. I’m eternally grateful!!I bought your “Law of Attraction” mp3. I listened to it everyday religiously. Had it playing silently all day in the background of whatever I was doing for about 3 weeks. I didn’t pay it much attention just kepy playing it till one day….. I realized I had given up caffine, (my Coca-Cola everyday), most of my sweets and was eating better. I was even making better financial decisions without even thinking about it. I was in the grocery store when I came to this BIG epiphany when I was NOT attracted to the junk aisle.

Your experience is a common one with manifesting, regardless of the desire. We do all this work, inner and outer, we don’t get the results we want, we get super-pissed, say f$ck it, and give up. Then usually some good stuff comes in from the positive momentum that has been built up, now that the massive resistance has diminished. Now, while doing a lot of stuff that makes us feel badly, or taking a lot of action for a long time without results, usually leads us to a point where we surrender, it is not the best approach to take because it isn’t necessary. It’s not something you want to consciously do. You don’t want to force yourself into surrender. You can take action if you feel compelled, but just make sure it feels good, and you don’t get attached to those channels as being the way that person must come to you.

While working as a medical technology intern at our regional hospital in Jamaica, I heard an announcement over the PA system that our hospital CEO received the national award for “Boss of the Year”. I soon found out that the CEO was 28 Years old… impressive achievements for such a young man. I wanted to network with him and learn his story and secrets to his success. There was to be a meeting with the hospital CEO and the Laboratory staff and I decided to introduce myself to him there.
“I wanted a dog ever since I moved to London 14 years previous. It was a longing that almost caused an ache in me, I felt I couldn’t get a dog because of my long work hours and I never seemed to live anywhere that was suitable to house a canine. I mentioned this in my sessions with Tracy and we started doing focusing processes on just how good it felt to have a dog again rather than all the focus I was putting on ‘why I couldn’t have a dog’. In record time my landlord one day just changed his mind after 2 years of saying no I couldn’t have a dog. I nearly fell off my chair the night he told me that he just ‘changed his mind’.
             You will discover the tools to unlock the awesome powers of your subconscious mind. You can improve your relationships, your finances, your physical well-being. Once you learn how to use this unbelievably powerful force there is nothing you will not be able to accomplish. Join the race of successful people who have already unlocked the power of their subconscious minds.

Hi Gabs, i have a long story but i’l cut it. After i said a prayer, talking to the Universe to send me a lady that i will get married to, i met a lady on facebook. She is a Gemini and i’m a Saggitarus. She became so deep in love with me and i culd sense it. But when she understood she was 2years older than me, her love began to undulate. She kept saying that i’m young and once she has a baby or two, she will look like my aunt cos of her size. Prior to our relationship, she has been in several relationshps with men, now she has a perspective bout men not been faithful. I assured her i was different and even if she has a child before that wont matter to me. But she seems to be falling apart. What do i need to do, to convince her of my love and my faithfulness and ensuring her loyalty? I love her and distance is not a barrier in my relationshp with her. Ur article is superb, it has updated my horizon. U can email me ur answers. emamaks2000@yahoo.co.nz. Thanks.

Now the question is do you still wish being in LA on next xmas?? Do you really want this to happen?? If you say yes then I would suggest you to keep thinking about this till next xmas, share your thoughts with your friends, make plans when time comes, be crazy about this and don’t compromise on this wish… I am sure you will be able to visit LA on next xmas or may be next to next.(But also note that you too are trying to materialize the once in a year thing like celebrating xmas in LA, getting a jet plane on b’day)
Your English could easily pass for an English speaker. I also love writing and started to blog, but realized I didn’t have a theme that would produce thoughts to the world. It’s fine, as being on the computer is already quite time consuming. Or in the lingua of the above topic, I guess it’s not my all consuming wish :) In any case, I felt as you did – that all that attraction stuff does lead to hard work, and even then, no guarantees. I don’t care for any system that has built into it a “failure” clause, because you didn’t do this or that. Being positive, having dreams, working hard,all good stuff, but again, life isn’t ours always to control.
In this article, I will share with you a step-by-step process I put together for myself several years ago when I made the decision to open my heart and welcome love into my life. In my opinion, these steps make up what I believe is the most comprehensive, practical, spiritually based ‘how to’ advice on how to Manifest Love using the Law of Attraction and the Intelligence of your Heart.

“The more I focus on my emotional state, clearing patterns away through your techniques- the more ‘magic’ happens in my life. Life has become one of simplicity since discovering you- it’s great to have discovered something with some ‘science’ behind it; no empty promises just real results as I’ve seen for myself in the people that have been going to your groups. No matter what the weather, I can find my centre. I’ve got more money that I can remember having and I’m working far less hours. I am in a fulfilling relationship that up until six months ago I didn’t think was possible. How can that be? It’s absolutely true that it’s all about feeling that makes up the quality of your life. Meditation has been an essential foundation, as Michael said at his workshop- and I think committing to this is the beginning of what’s really shifted my life to a different life… The change really is that profound!”
1. I relentlessly repeated over and over the mantra ‘I have made 500 shekels’ regarding my next shift. I made 450. This was by far the most any waitress had made and beyond belief but I kept the mantra going that night even after I got home. The next day I came into work. A big table that I had served the night before was so happy with my service they came in the next day to provide me with another 50 shekels!!! I was beside myself! Wow this is incredible. OK next test.

Deal-breaker items could include: if the person has some form of alcohol or substance addiction or abuse, if they are married or in another relationship, if they are physically or verbally abusive, and even if they smoke.  For some people, smoking is not a big deal, but for me, I just can’t stand kissing someone after they’ve had a smoke, so I decided to include it in my deal-breaker list.  What are your deal- breakers? All you need is three.


With total freedom, an individual is left free to focus all of their mental energies on what it is that they truly want from life. They are free from the burdens and stress of bills, debts and back-breaking work. Arguably, the biggest excuse used by large numbers of unsatisfied workers is that they are unable to live out their dreams as a result of a lack of cash flow.
“Small changes to report- I always turn up at the bus stop just moments before the bus arrives- I wake up feeling good most mornings- I seem to have much more energy, even though I wake up two hours earlier than I used to. My boyfriend has proposed to me (after I gave up the feeling of ‘waiting’ on him for the past three years and decided to focus more on my own life). Thank you also for the new visualisations- I’m using them every day.”
If you think that once you have money, you will become stronger, you’re crazy. Absolutely deluded! More likely — if you actually did manifest money from that kind of vibe — you’d grow even weaker. This would be a bad outcome for you, even though it seems like what you want. You’d be a weak-minded, weak-hearted person with more money, and you’d still see the money as more powerful than you, even while it’s in your possession. You’d then become attached to it and afraid of losing it because you’d still mistakenly see it as a power source. It would become a source of security for you, a constantly vulnerable one. The more money you had, the more paranoid you’d become about losing it. This would really mess you up big time. So be very, very glad that you naturally attract less money when you think of money as a power source. If you invite money into your life from that crazy frame of giving away your power, then money will become your Master, and you will be forever its slave. Don’t even go there!
When you want to become a money magnet, you must understand that money has a relationship with gratitude. Because the thought of money either makes you feel positive or negative most of the time. If it makes you feel positive then that’s great. But if it makes you feel negative because your focus is on the lack then this is where Gratitude works like magic.
2. I decided to try it again. I chose not to push the boundary too much, and decided to shoot for 300 shekels. Again, this amount of tips was over three times the norm and unheard. I did it again! Well, I got 290 shekels (I was 10 shekels off but I didn’t go home and repeat the mantra all night, I was happy with that!). Needless to say the other eight or so waitresses all started trying my new trick!

“After a long time of avoiding dating because I was finding it more of an endurance test than anything fun – I have had a breakthrough thanks to your coaching. Firstly I am attracting my type physically – and also men who respect me. I am less needy and co-dependent. One of the keys is that I learned how to really respect and value myself – and put that into practice. This is a total new way of being for me – it’s certainly a bright new year for me already – and we’re only a few days in, so thank you!”

Want to get everything in your life? This meditation will direct you to a secret portal that will help you to use the Law of Attraction to attract whatever you want in your life including success, money, love etc. You will use the Power of Love to heal yourself, your loved ones and eliminate all the negative blocks that are holding you back to achieve more success in your life. You’ll start feeling positive vibrations surrounding you and leave this meditation in a state of bliss.
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said on Oprah show: I only have one thing to say to you. OH MY GOD! I sent out 142 copies in total before 20 replied like the instructions said. Then I went on a short vacation. When I got back my account had over $32,000 dollars in it already and the money was still coming! I'm still floating on air (especially with my new car). I thought the "Guardian System" sounded cheesy, but now I realize it is the formula that makes this letter really work! THANKS.
“For a long time I had read that ‘your thoughts create your reality’ and ‘positive thinking’- but something wasn’t working until this new approach- the techniques are literally life changing. I wanted to share an interesting and some might think ‘trivial’ story which was certainly helpful to me and shows the many uses for appreciation: After being inspired by a previous Success Story, I decided to take a different approach to the ‘ant invasion’ I was experiencing in my house. Rather than stay in annoyance (the words ‘what you resist, persists’ came into my mind)- I decided to welcome them in, appreciating them and their right to be (amazing designed forms, ability to work as a team etc.). I then went into ‘good things about the ants being here’ which included a nudge to tidy up and vacuum more which was a win-win. The next day- after doing this exercise just briefly- and without any intervention on my behalf- they had all gone.”

Last year, my relationship ended suddenly. In hindsight, I had fears about abandonment and deservability, and I now see that these were limiting beliefs that colored my reality. Over the past year, I have worked on healing myself from the inside out and am incredibly proud of how I have grown. There has been no drama, just a quiet respect that if he felt that he needed space to grow and evolve, I loved him enough to let him go. While contact has been minimal, I still wake up each day with a smile and a heart filled with love and promise. He is with me even though we are apart; and I have hope beyond my current reality that our paths will cross again, and comfort and peace in that certainty.
I am writing this post in the apartment I manifested. I had the exact apartment in mind as some friends lived here a couple of years before, but at that time I didn’t have the salary to afford it. When I did, I starting thinking about the place again. The woman who lived here worked for me and was telling me she was thinking of moving, but perhaps not for a year or more. I started visualising that place being mine for after she left. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, she suddenly left to go back to England, leaving me with a hole in my department but the flat that I wanted. Fortunately on both accounts I had a new department member within the week, plus the keys to the apartment, but cheaper than I had expected because the landlady said I didn’t need to pay for utilities as I was living alone! An intention I wrote about 6 months ago mentions a 2 bedroomed apartment by the sea, but with views of the mountains. My terrace is directly over the sea, I can see it from my bed, but from my front door I have clear view of the mountains.
But it’s only when you are okay with not being with them, that you open the path for the Law of Attraction to attract your specific person to you. Until you’re okay with not being with him/her, a part of you is resisting and making it impossible for you to have what you want. This means, according to the Law of Attraction, that until you’re okay with possibly losing him/her, it will be difficult for you to have the relationship you want with him/her. You have to be okay with not having him/her.

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